


Just Keep Holding Me Cause This Entire Time You've Been My Lifeline

by a_lonely_tatertot



Series: Gay Kotlc For Your Soul [10]
Category: Keeper of the Lost Cities Series - Shannon Messenger
Genre: 5+1 Things, Canon Compliant, First Kiss, Fluff, Gay Panic, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Spoilers for Book 8.5: Unlocked, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Touch-Starved, physical affection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:33:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29224005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_lonely_tatertot/pseuds/a_lonely_tatertot
Summary: When their knuckles brushed Tam tried to play it off. Tried to ignore the way his stomach flipped the way his arm buzzed. He just wasn’t used to it okay. But later that afternoon it happened again, and Tam caught Keefe’s gaze knowing he knew exactly what he was feeling.-Or Tam is touch starved and Keefe is very touchy and they're both gay
Relationships: Keefe Sencen/Tam Song
Series: Gay Kotlc For Your Soul [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1795663
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	Just Keep Holding Me Cause This Entire Time You've Been My Lifeline

**Author's Note:**

> For an anon prompt on tumblr :) also yes the title is super long deal with it i wrote this in like an hour and a half

The first time it happened was an accident. The brush of knuckles that sent sparks of adrenaline through Tam’s arm. What the heck? he had thought.

He had watched Keefe for a while now. How careless he was with his touch. He’d give Sophie hugs and friendly forehead kisses when she was tired. Sophie would lean into his touch. Fitz, Keefe would randomly throw over his shoulder when he was getting too uptight, too Vacker-ish. He bounce around till Fitz was giggling and weakly saying “stop stop” between gasps and everyone knew he really didn’t mean it. Biana he’d give piggyback rides, or catch her when she would dramatically pretend to swoon. They would dance around each other for fun, swinging, dipping, something they had done since they were kids and were not above showing off. When Dex was around Keefe’s arm was always around his shoulder, or he was giving cheek kisses and making Dex’s entire face seem on fire. Linh and Keefe would always greet each other with a hug and Linh lifting Keefe up off the ground for a second. Marella and him traded arm punches, fistbumps, high fives, whatever. Even Stina when she was in a good mood he would rest his head on her’s or link his arm through hers and drag her to some shiny thing he saw. Ever since Tam had known him Keefe was touch. But the one person he never touched was Tam, and Tam couldn’t explain how much he ached for it.

When their knuckles brushed Tam tried to play it off. Tried to ignore the way his stomach flipped the way his arm buzzed. He just wasn’t used to it okay. But later that afternoon it happened again, and Tam caught Keefe’s gaze knowing he knew exactly what he was feeling.

-

They were researching for the Neverseen and Tam and Keefe had ended up in the same time slot. Keefe was grabbing a book that was high up and was half climbing the bookcase when, as Tam had warned, he fell backward. Keefe grabbed wildly Tam’s arm and Tam gripped Keefe’s shirt. “Didn’t I tell you this would happen?” Tam scolded him when he caught his breath.

“Yeah well I had to at least try,” Keefe said. Huffing Tam shook his head but didn’t say anything. Slowly he realized how close they were. How he was touching Keefe. How he couldn’t catch his breath because ancients why did Keefe have to look so good dissolved and grinning? He had probably been holding on for too long by then and he was trying to tell himself to let go but it wasn’t happening because Tam wanted the moment to last forever. But Keefe was noticing. “You can let go now Tammy, I’m not gonna fall over again,” Keefe laughed.

So Tam let go, ignoring how much he didn’t want to. They went to get the ladder and he banished the way he felt from his mind.

-

Keefe was out, Tam wasn’t. Everything in him was awake, screaming, replaying Keefe’s twisted face over and over as the shadowflux entered him. He hated every second. _Please let him be okay_ , Tam begged. _Please_.

He was cradling Keefe’s head in his hands trying not to cry because that’s not what everyone needed. He needed to be strong, to get them out of there. Sophie said something, said she would get Keefe to Elwin, and all Tam could do was nod. And she was running and he was staring at a crime scene where he was the killer.

-

Keefe was awake. Keefe was awake. And Tam was standing outside of Elwin’s door. To apologize? To see how he was? To make sure there was still some chance that Keefe would want him in his life? Honestly, Tam had no clue but he was here.  
Elwin answered the door and smiled softly in a way that tore Tam’s insides to pieces with guilt, before calling out to Keefe. Keefe showed up with a pad and paper and a grin that Tam didn’t know why it was directed at him.

Shady McSilverbangs! Keefe’s messy handwriting wrote. Tam expected him to be mad, to not want to see him, to throw insults at him through paper. Not to greet him with a smile and a new nickname.

Suddenly it was just the two of them, and suddenly Tam was getting dragged by his hand up stares to Keefe’s room where Keefe only gave him a second to breathe before he was crushing him in a hug. “Hi,” Tam whispered, arms hesitantly wrapping around Keefe.

“Hi,” Keefe said so softly Tam thought he imagined it.

“Everyone said I shouldn’t come, but I was just so scared you would hate me I’m so sorry-” Tam was cut off by Keefe squeezing him lightly.

“I don’t hate you. Not even for a second,” Keefe whispered. “I’ve never hated you.” All Tam could do was nod weakly into Keefe’s shoulder.

They stayed like that for who knows how long until Keefe pulled away to show him around. They talked for hours, sometimes through paper, sometimes just speaking softly. When Tam went to leave finally, and the sun was starting to sink, Elwin came up to him.

“I’m glad he talked to you, he’s barely talked at all.” Something like pride swelled up in Tam’s heart as he left.

-

It had been ten months. Ten months since Tam had saw Keefe’s face. He didn’t get a letter like Sophie and he honestly tried not to feel hurt but it didn’t work. Ten month’s later, in the middle of a fight with the Neverseen who, once again, trying to capture them he saw Keefe’s face. At first, he thought it was an illusion, maybe he was just too tired from fighting. Or maybe blood loss? He was bleeding.

“HAHA SUCKERS THE CAVALRY HAS ARRIVED!” Keefe’s distinct voice shouted from the distance, and Tam couldn’t help but grin as the world seemed to pause in surprise. Someone, probably Fitz or Dex let out a whoop and everything started up again. He was fighting, metal clinks surrounded him, and he could taste copper in his mouth. He pushed and pushed surrounding the figure in front of him in tendrils but there were too many and he was surrounded.

“Hey Shady looks like you could you some help,” Keefe called.

“No shit get over here!” Tam called back. They fought on, somehow Keefe had learned to focus his power, putting the Neverseen around him to sleep. “That’s useful,” Tam noted.

“Yeah. Hey,” Keefe spun around to face him and gripped his arm, “when this is over we need to talk.”

Tam couldn’t help the butterflies in his stomach. Apparently, ten months made everything worse, he cleared his throat, “Yes we definitely need to talk, but I think Sophie deserves an explanation more than me.”

“I’ve been sitting on this for ten months I can only wait so long Tam,” Keefe said something unnameable fulling his eyes for just a second, then he was off and something else was stealing Tam’s attention.

-

Everyone made it out alive, and the Neverseen was crippled in the process. So all and all it was one heck of a win for them. When it was all over and the Neverseen had retreated and Tam got himself out of his daze started to search for Keefe. He found Keefe getting dragged by the ear by Elwin who was happy and very very pissed and was making that very clear.

It took about an hour for Elwin to get done yelling and checking everyone to make sure they were okay. As soon as Elwin said he was good to go Tam found himself getting dragged by Keefe back into the forest where they had fought. “You better not be trying to kill me,” Tam said acutely aware of how Keefe was holding his hand. Keefe let out a chuckle before turning to face him.

“Uh no actually,” Keefe started and the first thing Tam noticed was that he was nervous. Why the heck was he nervous. “You know the first thing I noticed when I was in the Forbidden Cities? Well, other than the fact that ice cream is absolutely delicious. I noticed I missed you. I missed our banter, and I miss your smile that you do when you think no one is looking. The way you seemed too short circuit every time anyone seemed to show the smallest bit of affection for you. I even missed your bangs,” Keefe chuckled again and rubbed the back of his neck before continuing. “It took a lot of thinking and a new friend to tell me that I actually had a crush on you, which sent me full throttle into a sexuality crisis so that was fun. Apparently, humans have so many names for that stuff? Yeah well um, I guess what I’m saying is that-” he paused and Tam was thrown into a small rabbit hole of panic and wondering what he was saying. “Tam, I really like you, like ten months pinning and realizing I was so stupid leaving you type of I like you. And if you’d let me I’d really like to be your boyfriend.” Tam’s eyes widened as he tried to process everything. Keefe dropped Tam’s hand like it had burned him, “I mean unless I read everything wrong and you don’t feel like that I’m really sorry I shouldn’t have said that I’m going-”

Tam kissed him. Full throttle kissed him, their teeth clacked and his mouth hurt for a second but when Keefe kissed him back it didn’t matter. He grinned into the smile and let Keefe hoist him up and spin him around like some stupid human romance movie that Sophie had showed him. Not even the fact that their friends had seen them and started clapping and whooping and probably trading money could embarrass him. “So is that a yes?” Keefe asked softly when they stopped for a breath and leaned their foreheads together.

“No,” he said in complete seriousness and watched as Keefe’s eyes widened. “Yes, it’s a yes you idiot!”

Keefe let out a startled laugh before kissing him again and a new round of shouts rang out.


End file.
